


All of our dirt is washed in the rain

by NateTheWolf



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detectives, Angst, Animal Abuse, Animal Death, Blood and Injury, Crack Fic turned Serious, Crimes & Criminals, Detectives, F/F, Fluff, Gallows Humor, Humor, Kidnapping, Missing Persons, Missing cats, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Serious Injuries, cats connecting to human kidnapping, was stupid now it has an actual absurd plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:35:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28275447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NateTheWolf/pseuds/NateTheWolf
Summary: Started off as a missing cats funny crack fic but it turned kinda dark to actual human kidnapping. Don't ask why detectives are looking into missing cats, I don't know, maybe they did it in their spare time?Other than that, Doctor and Yaz are detectives and they bring themselves into a case when they find a connection and a possible suspect.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Kudos: 6





	1. Another One?

It was 8am. The Doctor was outside of Yasmin’s house in the cold, at 8am. Sure, she does work and get up at this time, but it was her weekend off. She had planned to sleep in and relax, maybe see how Yaz was in the afternoon, but instead, she’s outside and dressed in the cold before noon. Yaz had texted for her to come over ASAP. Usually that meant she figured something out on a case, she couldn’t imagine this time being any different. 

Clutching onto the hot chocolate for warmth, she approached the house. There was a sticky note on her door with a ‘come in’ and a star in the corner. She knew it was for her, so she strolled in. There was no greeting when she got into the hall like usual, so she checked her mobile for any last-minute texts from her friend, only to see a cat gif sent five minutes ago. She sighed at the gif, and was going to text back to see if she was still at home, but heard a notebook being set down from the kitchen. 

“Another one?” she asked as she put her mobile in her pocket and sipped on her beverage. 

“Another two.” 

She perked up at that, intrigued. As she walked over to Yaz she saw papers, maps, and four missing cat posters spread out on the table. Two of the posters were definitely new. Before she could even put her hot chocolate down her friend gestured for her to sit. 

“Check this out,” she said excitedly. Too much peppiness for the Doctor’s liking at this hour. 

She sat down and looked over the abundance of papers covering the table. Four missing cats, only one of them found. Papers with writing scrawled over it, some threats, some notes jotted down from where each cat was last found. As she looked, she noticed the two maps looked rather odd. 

“Where’d you get the maps?” 

“May have made them,” Yaz looked away, almost shyly. 

“May have?” the Doctor raised a brow, rather amused by her behaviour. 

“Okay,” she sighed. “Definitely made them. But do you see what I see?” 

The blonde rolled her eyes and continued to search for what was so fascinating and made her friend feel like she could crack the case in a second. It wasn’t until she looked closer at the make-shift map that it clicked. 

“Huh.” 

“See?” Yaz beamed, clearly too happy with herself. “We were right before!” 

The Doctor looked uncertain. “Are you sure though, Yaz? We said we were right the first time and that didn’t end up-” 

“Yes, yes, I know,” she waved her hand dismissively. “This time it’s different I swear! C’mon, Doctor, since when have you ever been cautious?” 

“Since you almost got fired.” 

“I didn’t though-” 

“Not the point Yaz-” 

“I know the point,” she sighed, trying to keep calm. “You don’t have to worry, okay? That was six months ago. And it was O’s fault too, not to mention mine.” 

“No, it was my-” the Doctor paused and looked up at her. “O?” 

“Yeah?” 

“You never call him that.” 

“Well, I do now,” she shrugged and leant back in her chair. “What’s the problem anyway?” 

The Doctor stayed silent and went back to looking at the papers, analysing the newest missing cat poster. She seemed fascinated that it was a Maine Coon. 

“You call him that, why can’t I?” Yaz asked, not giving up on the topic. She knew she should probably leave it, but there was something about how the Doctor was around him that made Yaz want to know more. “Let me guess, a friendship thing? Only you two can call each other special nicknames?” 

“No, not at all,” she put the poster down. “So, these cats then.” 

“You really don’t like talking about him, do you?” 

“Cats Yaz.” 

“Really?” she scoffed. “Just like that you’re-” 

“Let’s leave it yeah?” the Doctor finally looked up at her, glaring. A glare that told her it wasn’t a request. 

“Fine,” she sighed. “Fine, yeah. Sorry. So, the cats-” 

“Were taken five meters apart from where they were last seen.” 

“Yes, and-” 

“Nearest house is abandoned,” the Doctor carried on as she looked at the messy notes. “It has been looked into, but that was over three months ago.” 

It was Yaz’s turn to be confused now. “So?” 

“So,” she stood up and grabbed her lukewarm hot chocolate, taking a sip before grinning at her. “Wanna go investigating?” 

* * *

Two hours later they were outside the abandoned house, sneaking through the overgrown garden. The house had been abandoned for years, yet nobody in the village knew why. Some claimed it was haunted, a tale to tell the children to scare them, keep them away from the house. Other theories were demons or other spirits, but that was mostly from teenagers that wanted it to be something worth investigating. The council had to replace some of the windows with metal and boards so people would stop breaking in, they even but chains on the gate. It only added to the haunted look. Another theory was there was a dead body hidden in there, some reasons leading to haunting. One rare one that there was someone living in there still, that it wasn’t abandoned, but that theory had so many reasonings and endings, that people dismissed it. Hauntings were better anyway, more fun than there being bad heating or water work in there that left the house inhabitable. That one was the most likely. Everyone had their own theories though. 

The Doctor looked over the house, obviously looking for any damage to the building. Maybe for any evidence of a break in. It wasn’t until she pulled open a rusted window and went to climb in that it clicked. 

“Doctor!” Yaz laughed, yet looked around worriedly. “This is breaking and entering!” 

“Who’s breaking?” she grinned and grabbed a stick to prop open the rusted window. “ _Sneaking_ and entering.” 

Her friend shook her head. “If we don’t get fired for this-” 

“Come on!” 

Sighing, Yaz followed suit, making sure not to knock over the stick holding up the window. As soon as she was back on solid ground she coughed. 

“Whoo, sure is dusty in ‘ere hey?” the Doctor coughed slightly. 

“Yeah,” she muttered, trying not to cough too much. “So, you reckon the cats are in here then?” 

Her friend shrugged. “Only one way to find out.” 

They walked along the dark hallway, trying not to step on any of the pieces of debris on the floor. Yaz had the smart idea to use her phone as a torch so she could see as they walked further away from the only light source. 

“Huh, Yaz shine that here,” the Doctor said as she pointed towards a room, the door missing. 

“Why-” 

“Hole upstairs,” she interrupted when the light shone on the broken cabinet in the middle of the room, a long piece of wood blocking most of the door. “We better be careful of that. Guessing that was the kitchen.” 

The kitchen was almost non-existent with how much had been broken off or by what had collapsed into it. They couldn’t get into it without being in danger of the entire second floor collapsing on them, so they opted to leave it. 

“If you can call it a kitchen now,” Yaz remarked, turning away to see what was left of the living room. 

Every time they moved, they heard a creak or shuffle of objects that the Doctor would sometimes kick out of the way. Until she accidentally kicked a rat. Luckily, it just scurried off into the kitchen after. 

“Okay, I’m gonna need that torch,” she said as she held her hand out urgently, staring at where the rat once stood. 

“You what now?” 

“I don’t want to step on another rat!” 

“Use your own phone!” 

“I...” 

Realization dawned on her, and she lowered her hand; her face gone from panicked to a sheepish look as she looked down. She fumbled around with her phone until the light appeared. 

“Happy now?” 

The blonde just grumbled as she hesitantly stepped forward. Yaz couldn’t help but giggle as she followed. 

“How is there no kitchen but the TV is just dusty?!” The Doctor exclaimed as she stepped over the tipped coffee table. “Oh wait, there’s a scratch.” 

“That’s uh, that’s a pretty old TV huh?” Yaz asked as she looked at the sofa, noticing what must have been rat droppings on the cushions. 

“Before 2000’s, that’s for sure.” 

“Hmm, wonder why it was nev-” 

“Shh!” 

Yaz froze, listening out for anything her friend heard. When she didn’t hear anything, she went to ask what it was, but got shushed again. Annoyed, she crossed her arms and stared at the blonde, who continued to stare at the floor by the door frame leading to the stairs. The tension was killing her, so she went to speak again, until she heard it. 

A meow. 

A weak meow. 

“Was that...?” 

The Doctor ran to the stairs, only stopping when she heard a creek. 

“Doctor!” Yaz hissed as she chased after her. “Be careful!” 

“Yeah... Yeah, yeah, we, we need to be – you heard that too right? It’s not just me?” 

“Yeah, I heard it too,” she glanced up the stairs, faintly hearing the noise again. “But we can’t go running up there, oka-” 

“There’s blood,” the blonde pointed to the stairs. “Last step. Dry but... Not enough.” 

“That is concerning-” 

Once again, the Doctor rushed past her, climbing up the wooden stairs. She stopped when the floorboard creaked a bit too much for their liking. Yaz looked down the hall with her torch before following suit, staying one step behind her. 

“I go first, we look out for the hole, and look for the cat, okay?” 

“Like I have a choice?” 

“Fair point,” she huffed as she took the first step. She held her breath when she got to the first room, what looked like a bathroom, until the creaking floorboards stopped. 

“Seeing the hole in the floor scared you?” 

“Just a bit yeah,” she admitted sheepishly. “At least that part’s safe.” 

“I’ll check the bedroom,” Yaz pointed her torch down the small hallway to one of the larger looking rooms. 

“Stay close?” 

“Like that room there?” she nodded over to the room next to her friend. 

“Maybe?” 

“That’s most likely where the hole is.” 

“Oh, yeah,” she peered into the empty looking room to confirm her suspicions. “Yup, you’re right. Not that roo-” 

The meow was heard again, in the room Yaz was heading to. They looked at each other before carefully walking to the room. 

“Ready?” Yaz whispered. 

“It’s just a cat,” the Doctor breathed out. Sensing her apprehension, despite really not knowing what they could see, Yaz took the first step. 

She flashed the light around the room, only seeing scratched walls and torn furniture. Nothing too disturbing so far. Looking down, she saw a nail in-between the floorboards, and a thing lead attached to it. It was slack and looked chewed, but what caught her attention was that is suddenly straightened up and a hiss was heard. Tad bit startled, she stepped back and shone her torch in the direction of the noise. 

“Yaz?” 

“Shh,” she shushed as she knelt down. It confused her friend, so she nodded towards the cat lying down on the floor. It stopped hissing and instead meowed at her, dragging itself forward. Slowly, she held her hand out and shuffled towards it. It licked her hand. 

“Oh,” the Doctor sounded devastated, so Yaz turned to her with a questioning look. “Their injured, badly. Starved. Watch out, it mig-” 

“Ow,” Yaz pulled her hand back, the claws scratching her finger it was previously licking. “Yeah, makes sense. Can you get the lead?” 

“Duct-taped... Hold on.” 

“Hey there buddy,” she said sweetly to the cat. “We’re going to get you out of here yeah? Just be patient okay...” 

“Ahah, knew the pocket knife would come in handy!” 

“Doctor-” 

“See? Told you I’d need it, works prett-” 

“Doctor,” Yaz repeated louder, interrupting her friend’s praise on herself from owning a pocket knife. Finally, she listened. “That... That one.” 

The Doctor shone her torch where Yaz pointed, only to see a dead calico close to the window, attached to the bed. The calico that was missing eight months ago. It was a month deceased at least. They gagged, the smell of the house now making sense. 

“We need to get out of here,” she said quickly as she stood up. “As soon as... Can you get the cat?” 

“Hey bud,” she tried again, trying her best to ignore the corpse by her. The cat crawled to her and she scooped it up. It was shivering and clawed onto her shirt. “Easier than expected.” 

“You’re a cat person,” the Doctor shrugged. “It makes sense, now c’mon.” 

Yaz rolled her eyes at her friend, but followed, pocketing her phone. “You need to lead, no light.” 

“Sure,” she nodded and shone the torch long enough for her friend to see where she was going. Surprisingly, it didn’t take that long to get back to the window, the window that was now closed. “Did you knock it?” 

“What?” Yaz asked as she petted the cat and the Doctor tried and failed to lift the window back up. 

“It’s stuck.” 

Anxiety flared up. “No way, you’re joking rig-” 

“Nope, not stuck,” she pointed to the window sill. “Been locked in.” 

“What?” Yaz stepped to the side of her and looked at where she was pointing. 

“See? Nails. It’s been sealed shut.” 

“By who?” she asked, shifting to keep hold of the cat so she didn’t hurt its injured paw. “Who would want us trapped here?” 

The Doctor hummed, clearly trying to figure something out. “Not really the question we should be asking Yaz...” 

“Then what is?” 

“Whoever did this, for whatever reason – we can work on that later-” 

“Doctor, you’re waffling, get to the point.” 

“Did they lock us in here away from them, keep it a secret?” 

“How come I feel like there’s an ‘or’?” she stated rather hesitantly, knowing if her friend didn’t say it in the first place, she was sure it was bad news. 

“Or did they trap us in here with them?” 


	2. Be Careful

There they were, trapped. Trapped in an abandoned house that nobody knew they were in, that could collapse with any wrong move at any time. And Yaz had a cat in her arms.

“But it’s from the outside, whoever did this must’ve been outside. And this is the only way in and out-”

“How are you so sure?” the Doctor raised a brow at her.

“It’s all boarded up-”

“This wasn’t,” she pointed to the window for emphasis. “There’s an upstairs too, pretty sure I saw a window up there. Someone could have gotten in the doors, picked the lock, replaced them. Anything really.”

Yaz looked around, trying to figure out some excuse to make light of the situation, to  relieve her anxiety. “Somebody would have noticed, surely.”

She shrugged. “People come in the garden all the time, try to break in, see if there are any ghosts. It’s so well known the stories of this place that it’s common to see anyone in the garden. Nobody bats an eye anymore.”

“So we’re stuck in here?”

“Any signal?”

Yaz shifted to check her phone, hoping not to injure the cat any more than it already was. She shook her head.

“Yup, we’re stuck,” the blonde huffed out, kicking dust. “Unless...”

“Unless?” her partner perked up.

“We could look around more,” she looked around. “Not be afraid to break things...”

Yaz didn’t like that idea. “If we get caught-”

“I know.”

“Doctor-”

“What other choice do we have?” she turned to her. “Choke on the dust? No, we need to get out of here, and soon.”

“I know, I know, but-”

“But what?” the Doctor raised her voice, glaring at her partner. It was clear, if not by how she talked, then by her expression that she was getting increasingly anxious at this unnerving turn of events.

“We need to calm down, I doubt us getting worked up is going to help get Kiara out of here,” Yaz sighed as she petted the cat.

“Kiara?” she looked down at the light brown cat, as if she were inspecting it.

“Yeah, this one’s called Kiara – didn't you read the missing  cats' posters?”

“I did!” she  exclaimed , wincing slightly at how loud she was at the accusation. “I just, didn’t remember the names...”

“Tilly was the one upstairs,” Yaz muttered, idly stroking the cat.

“You were up all night looking into this case, weren’t you?”

“Maybe.”

The Doctor’s expression softened as she looked between the cat and Yaz. She sighed; “Well, we may be stuck, but we – you saved the cat from... God knows what.”

“The windows are boarded up, no point in smashing them,” Yaz pointed out, nodding to the living room windows. She didn’t want to think about what the other cat had gone through.

“Well, these ones yeah, what about the kitchen?”

“We can’t get into the kitchen, it’s too dangerous-”

“Good thing danger’s my middle name,” the Doctor smirked as she walked over to the door frame.

“Doctor-”

“Okay it’s not, it’s actually-”

“You know that’s not what I was disagreeing with,” Yaz interrupted sternly as she marched over to the blonde, almost stumbling when she stepped on a piece of wood. “That doesn’t even make sense anyway, wouldn’t you –  y'know what, so not the time. You can’t go in  there Doctor.”

“The  room’s already caved in,” she shrugged. “I’d just need to squeeze under this... I’m assuming wardrobe-”

“Doctor, no-”

“Doctor, yes,” she grinned as she ducked under the wardrobe. She carefully shuffled forwards as she looked around, peering around the cupboards, looking at where she was stepping, looing upwards so she wouldn’t hit anything. “And I’m in.”

“Just... Just be careful yeah?”

“I’m always careful Yaz,” she sounded like the was grinning.

“So plan a is looking for an escape?”

“What makes you so sure we need a plan b?”

“Okay fine,” Yaz sighed. “Part one, escape, what’s part two if we can’t find one?”

“Um, we’ll think of that if the time comes. Oh, although there’s one thing we should probably do if we’re going to split up.”

She dreaded those words. With a sigh she asked; “Why do we have to split up?”

“It would be rubbish if we just searched here wouldn’t it? Also, we don’t have much time before that cat or us will need serious medical attention.”

“Okay fine, what was the other thing then?”

“Be quiet,” the Doctor half whispered. “Unless someone jumps out at ya, then scream all you want.”

“Make this  creepier why don’t you,” Yaz rolled her eyes.

“I’m serious Yaz, we don’t know if we’re alone.”

“I’m going with we are since the nails are on the outsid-”

“You never know okay?”

Yaz sighed, “Fine. You check here, I’ll go upstairs.”

“Be careful,” she warned. “And remember, if anything creeks when you step on it, move away. We don’t want it concaving in on us.”

“I’m not stupid Doctor,” she quietly called out as she walked to the door.

“I know. I know you aren’t, you’re brilliant Yaz. I just worry, is all.”

She couldn’t help but be touched at that. “Thanks Doctor. I’ll shout if I see anything, be careful in there.”

“Will do!”

With Yaz heading upstairs, the Doctor looked around the kitchen. Part of the window was covered in wood, one small part of it smashed. It was a small divided window over the sink, it didn’t even let much light in, so she knew she couldn’t climb out of there, much less Yaz with an injured cat. She looked at the pile of broken furniture on what she assumed where the dining table once was, and noticed there was another blocked off door way from the hall, probably leading towards some other storage room they hadn’t checked. She made a mental note to check there i f she didn’t find a way out in the  kitchen.

“Okay, okay,” she muttered. “Just need to-”

She heard a squeak. Turning around, she saw it was just a few rats on the counter tops, seeming disinterested in her. That was good at least.

“Should’ve brought gloves,” the Doctor muttered to herself as she focused on a way out. “Hmm. Window’s a no go...”

She looked around, only now noticing the door. The door handle was new. Not relatively new, she just noticed it wasn’t as rusted as the others, or dusty as everything else in the kitchen.

“ Well hello there,” she muttered as she tested it out. It clicked. She tugged on it, but unfortunately, the door didn’t open. It budged though. “Hmm, maybe-”

A creak upstairs caught her attention. The Doctor looked up, seeing if she could see Yaz anywhere near her. She was probably in the back room, she guessed. With a shrug, she went back to examining the door.

Meanwhile upstairs, Yaz held the cat in her arms still as she checked out the bathroom. There was a small locked window, just about enough for Kiara to go through, but she wasn’t going to risk the cat’s life for it. She decided to look around more.

“Let’s find another way, huh girl,” Yaz quietly said to the cat as she exited the bathroom. She wasn’t going to bother looking in the room next to her seeing as it had a big hole in it leading down to the Doctor in the kitchen, however, the thought of looking in the back room where they found Kiara made her feel sick. She stared down the hall for a moment, suddenly feeling anxious at the prospect of going into that room again. Unsure why, she shrugged it off and walked into the collapsed bedroom.

She looked down at the Doctor checking the door handle, and almost laughed. If only it were that easy. As she looked around, she noticed a piece of cardboard hanging off of the big window.

The open big window.

Possibly enough to fit them all through with minor injuries.

“Hmm, maybe,” Yaz muttered to herself as she stepped forward, not getting too close to the hole.

The window was certainly big enough for her to squeeze through with the cat. It was just getting there. The bed on the other side looked like it would fall down into the kitchen with as much as a breeze. It wouldn’t work. Although, there was a small, foot length ledge on the side that lead to the window.

“Hold tight,” Yaz whispered to Kiara as she held her tighter and leaned back on the wall. She slowly side stepped, testing out how much weight the floor boards could hold. When only a slight creek happened, she kept going. It wasn’t until she was half way there that her partner noticed.

“What are you doing up there?!” the Doctor harshly whispered in shock, not wanting to cause too much attention to herself. Quiet, like they said. They didn’t know if anyone else was here.

“The window’s open-”

“Yaz!” she raised her voice slightly. “You could fall!”

“I’m being careful, promise,” she assured as she carefully side stepped.

“Wait - the window’s open?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Big window with cardboard on it?” the Doctor asked, making a gesture with her arms to  emphasize how big the window was.

“Yes, it’s been ripped off?” she said almost as if she were questioning her as she side stepped again. Almost there. “What’s your point?”

The blonde was silent for a moment. She even had her serious face on which made Yaz slow down, thinking something was wrong. She was one more step away from escape, and didn’t want to stay static for too long, just in case the floorboard suddenly gave way like it felt.

“Yaz, get away from there now,” the Doctor finally told her as she looked up at her. She put her hand on the door handle.

“I can get out this way, I’ll be fine-”

“No Yaz, you don’t-”

Yaz heard a creak, one she was sure she didn’t make. “Shh!”

“Yaz don’-”

“No seriously, shh,” she hushed, stopping once more. She could have sworn she heard something from the back room.

Suddenly, a loud thud was heard from the back room and what sounded like a grunt. The cat hissed at the noise. The thuds got louder and louder, angrier and angrier. It was as if someone was stomping along the hall way right to the room Yaz was in.

“Yaz,” the Doctor whispered, catching her attention, pulling it away from the noises that sped up. It was coming towards her. “Get out.”

Without a second thought it seemed, Yaz leaped to the corner of the room and climbed out of the window. The Doctor frantically pulled on the door, attempting anything to make some noise and get the door open. The noise stopped for a millisecond, just short of the room she was under. She paused, listening out for the noise, hoping not to draw attention to herself.

Suddenly, it was at the stairs.

One last attempt as the noise thudded down the stairs, closer and closer to her, the Doctor yanked the door open. She ran out and slammed it shut. Just in case.

She saw Yaz at the wall, cat hooked under her arm. She could have sworn she saw red on her hand as she waved her hand for her to follow. Before she could ask there was another loud thud in the house. 

She ran away from the door to the wall, almost tripping on the uneven ground, and just about managed to jump and pull herself up onto the wall. Luckily, because it was up hill slightly, they were able to easily jump off the wall and land back on the tarmac. As soon as they did they continued running down the road, not looking back. Not until they were at a suitable distance from it.

Turned out their suitable distance from the house was until it was nearly out of sight.

Yaz stopped first. She caught her breath, doubling over but made sure not to injure the cat in any way.

“Are you,” the blonde breathed out once she stopped, catching her breath. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Yaz nodded. “A bit shaken up but, yeah, good. You?”

“Same.” The Doctor sighed, looking around. “What should we do now?”

“Probably take the cat to the vets then contact the owners,” Yaz suggested, looking over the cat for any other injuries.

“What about Ras?” her partner asked.

“What about him?” she raised her brow, idly stroking the cat.

“He should know we’re closer on the case, and,” she paused, glancing back at the house before back to her friend. “And that the house is no longer vacant.”

“You go to Ras and I go to the vet?” Yaz questioned, despite already knowing her response to it.

“I’m not the only one getting yelled at!” 

“It was your idea to break – I'm sorry, sneak, into an abandoned house with nobody knowing-”

“Yes, I admit to that but you were the one that re-opened the case we got told to close and leave to other people. We weren’t even meant to take the case anyway, it’s - and using his words here - below us.”

Yaz shrugged, stroking Kiara. “I hate that he said that...”

“Me too, but we were meant to drop it Yaz,” the Doctor said, looking between the cat and where they had just  run from.

“Okay fine,” her partner sighed after a moment, catching the blonde’s attention. “What about we both go to the vets and owners, and you call Ras? We can be doing our own thing, he can look at the cat, and tell us both off for saving it.”

The Doctor thought about it for a moment. She looked back at the house, shuddering at it, only now understanding how it can seem creepy as the residents had described it as before. Of course, that could just be because of the experience they just had in it. She shook her head, shaking the anxiety induced thoughts away before they crept up, and turned to her partner. 

“Deal.”


End file.
